Quarter 1:
The first quarter started off a little closer than expected; in the words of Dan Martin after the game: 'If you could turn it on from the first quarter to ease my anxiety, that would be great'

Max Biddlestone got the scoring started quickly with an assist from Tyler Rodburg. This was soon answered by the Caps netting their first of the game. Curtis Hibberd and his infamous one handed ground ball skills made the most of a caused turnover and got the ball to Lenno on GLE, who found Max free in front of goal for a second. Did you know the 3-toed sloth only moves 41 yards in a day? This is officially more than Max needed to move all day to score all his goals.

Bobby Ingham-Clark of Camden Capybaras found the back of the net for his first in the dying minutes of the first quarter to tie the game up. Cheltenham's defence man Jacob Todd made full use of his serval-like legs to propel himself across the floor as he dove for the ball completely unnecessarily to close out the quarter and also to ensure his Dick of the Day win! First Quarter ends 2-2

Quarter 2:
David Lennox, assisted by Captain Matt Parkes, was first to get the wave of Cheltenham scoring underway as they clawed their way through the rodent's defences.

Camden tried their best to take shots but this time it wasn't keeper Dan Martin making the save - like a brave Red Panda standing up tall to appear bigger in the face of his foe, defender Rhys Topping stood tall and his shin took the full force of a low shot, before Cheltenham were on the attack again.

Now stay with me for this bit... Lenno gets assisted by Guy, Guy gets assisted by Joel, and then Tyler ran through the entire defence to get his first of the game - and all is right with the world.

By this point in the game the Capybaras were being left out in the open and the Harpy Eagles were starting to circle. They were taking desperate measures to dig their way to safety but end up with a penalty instead. For what you ask? Great question, I'd love to tell you but I was too busy admiring Guy's bare legs* to make a note. (*Professional as always.)

Jake Harper took full advantage of the man up and his goal ended the quarter 7-2.

We can't forget to give a shout out to the Defence here for their incredible hardwork - a complete shut out. James Lloyd shutting down drives and intercepting feeds like a hyena on a mission, Rhys putting his body on the line, Jacob doing Jacob things, and Dan Martin's mantis shrimp like reactions keeping the ball out the net (on the few occasions Camden were allowed to get a shot off).

Quarter 3:
Like an orca with a seal, the Cougars continued to play with their food and Matt Parkes got scoring underway as Max assisted.

To end to our lovely little Lenno-Guy-Joel tale from earlier; Guy assisted Joel Matthews in his first of the game and his first of his Cheltenham career. But like the lives of many wildcats, this moment was not captured on film (by any of the 4 people filming!) - maybe it never happened after all?!

The Capybaras were next on the scoreboard with 2 quick goals - both beautifully executed and placed - no one should be mad... it was just honest, sexy lacrosse.

But like Schrödinger's Cat released alive from the box, Guy's bare legs carried him to a sneaky backdoor cut and another goal for his tally, assisted by Rodburg.

Faceoff hero Pete forgot he wasn't Trevor Baptiste and this is only SEMLA Div 1 not the PLL before taking a knee for playing on after his stick broke. It didn't matter though because Joel Matthews playing some exceptional defence caused a turnout and with the speed and grace of Shadowfax he took off down the field. Lenno waited poised for the pass but it was Max Biddlestone (this guy again?!) who delivered the final blow.

Camden snuck in a sneaky goal in the last few seconds as number 64 was assisted 90 to end the quarter 11 - 5.

Quarter 4:
An audible groan was heard across CACSSA as a great opportunity from Lenno bounced with force off the pipes. Cheltenham kept possession and Jake Harper started a drive to goal only to shut down by a herd of Capybara. A 'completely planned' shovel of the ball to Guy Oldring a success, the herd weren't quick enough to get back to cover Tyler Rodburg free in front of goal, who took his time and scored a beauty.

Lenno was back on the scoreboard next before ... CHOO CHOO... What's this? A Train coming through? James Cole, recently returned from broken fingers, was like a caged animal running free down the field for Lenno to assist him for his first pole goal of the season.

Camden took their last shot of the game and came up with another good goal.

Tyler gobbled up the ball straight off the face, like a hippo on game night, and took it straight to goal whilst the Capybara defence stood and watched. Tyler quickly scored another one after, but goodness Guy's legs, I didn't see the goal. Is this how men felt in the 1820s when women showed their ankles for the first time?

Max's wife asked for him to score 4 goals this game and so as not to disappoint her (on the lacrosse pitch) he made the most of a complete lack of angle to fire the ball high over the Capybara keeper for his 4th. But wait. Was 4 not enough? Is Max compensating for things outside of lacrosse? We won't ask. But like a bonded pair of Sandhill Cranes, Lenno and Max found each other just one more time and Max ensured the final goal was a Cougars one.

Final Score:
Cheltenham 18 - 6 Camden

Man of the Match: James Lloyd

Points:
Max - 5G, 1A
Tyler - 4G,
Lenno - 3G, 4A
Guy - 2G, 3A
Joel - 1G, 1A
Jake - 1G
Parkes - 1G, 1A
Cole - 1G